Sunday, November 6, 2011
Keeping Your Axe Sharp
Once upon a time a very strong woodcutter asked for a job with a timber merchant, and he got it.
The salary was really good and so were the work conditions. For that reason, the woodcutter was determined to do his best. His boss gave him an axe and showed him the area where he was supposed to work. The first day, the woodcutter brought 18 trees "Congratulations," the boss said. "Go on that way!"
Very motivated by the boss' words, the woodcutter tried harder the next day, but could bring 15 trees only.
The third day he tried even harder, but could bring 10 trees only.
Day after day he was bringing less and less trees. "I must be losing my strength", the woodcutter thought.
He went to the boss and apologized, saying that he could not understand what was going on.
"When was the last time you sharpened your axe?" the boss asked. "Sharpen? I had no time to sharpen my axe. I have been very busy trying to cut trees..."
The salary was really good and so were the work conditions. For that reason, the woodcutter was determined to do his best. His boss gave him an axe and showed him the area where he was supposed to work. The first day, the woodcutter brought 18 trees "Congratulations," the boss said. "Go on that way!"
Very motivated by the boss' words, the woodcutter tried harder the next day, but could bring 15 trees only.
The third day he tried even harder, but could bring 10 trees only.
Day after day he was bringing less and less trees. "I must be losing my strength", the woodcutter thought.
He went to the boss and apologized, saying that he could not understand what was going on.
"When was the last time you sharpened your axe?" the boss asked. "Sharpen? I had no time to sharpen my axe. I have been very busy trying to cut trees..."
5 - Minute Management Lessons / Animation
Lesson Number One
A bird was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The bird answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and rabit had to run away.
Management Lesson:To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
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Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy”. “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who was about to shoot the turkey it had to quickly get down out of the tree.
Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.
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Lesson Number Three
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, “I should be Boss because I control the whole body’s responses and functions.” The feet said, “We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.” The Hands said, “We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.” And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. Promptly, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Management Lesson: You don’t need brains to be a Boss – any asshole will do.
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Lesson Number Four
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold that the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped a load of hot, steaming dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of shit, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung. The cat promptly dug the bird out, the bird had to run for its life.
Management Lesson: Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. Not everyone who pulls you out of shit is your friend. And when you’re warm and happy in your pile of shit, keep your mouth shut!
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=5+-+Minute+Management+Lessons
A bird was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The bird answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and rabit had to run away.
Management Lesson:To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
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Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy”. “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who was about to shoot the turkey it had to quickly get down out of the tree.
Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.
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Lesson Number Three
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, “I should be Boss because I control the whole body’s responses and functions.” The feet said, “We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.” The Hands said, “We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.” And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. Promptly, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Management Lesson: You don’t need brains to be a Boss – any asshole will do.
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Lesson Number Four
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold that the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped a load of hot, steaming dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of shit, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung. The cat promptly dug the bird out, the bird had to run for its life.
Management Lesson: Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. Not everyone who pulls you out of shit is your friend. And when you’re warm and happy in your pile of shit, keep your mouth shut!
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=5+-+Minute+Management+Lessons
Six stories (With Morals)
Lesson 1
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the admin. clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3 :
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
Lesson 4:
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.
Lesson 5
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
Lesson 6:
A man decides to write a funny and informative collection of stories meant to drive home some interesting life lessons. While he was writing them, his wife came by and asked what he was doing. He explained to her that he wanted to send his friends something interesting to chat about at work the next day. His wife advised him to post it on an internet blog for fun. The husband took her advice, but negligently set up his own server without properly analyzing the potential for an instantaneous burst of Digg traffic. The site, therefore, went down in flames hosting a few paragraphs of text.
Moral of the story: Execute things Properly.
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the admin. clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3 :
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
Lesson 4:
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.
Lesson 5
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
Lesson 6:
A man decides to write a funny and informative collection of stories meant to drive home some interesting life lessons. While he was writing them, his wife came by and asked what he was doing. He explained to her that he wanted to send his friends something interesting to chat about at work the next day. His wife advised him to post it on an internet blog for fun. The husband took her advice, but negligently set up his own server without properly analyzing the potential for an instantaneous burst of Digg traffic. The site, therefore, went down in flames hosting a few paragraphs of text.
Moral of the story: Execute things Properly.
What is recession?
The Story is about a man who once upon a time was selling Hotdogs by the roadside. He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers. He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio. His eyes were weak, so he never watched television. But enthusiastically, he sold lots of hotdogs. He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales. His sales and profit went up. He ordered more a more raw material and buns and use to sale more. He recruited few more supporting staff to serve more customers. He started offering home deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove. As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from College, joined his father.
Then something strange happened. The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?" The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible. The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad times" The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watching TV, he ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly. So the next day onwards, the father cut down the his raw material order and buns, took down the colorful signboard, removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic. He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs.Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his hotdog stand. And his sales started coming down rapidly, same is the profit. The father said to his son, "Son, you were right. We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."
Moral of The Story: Its all in your MIND!
Then something strange happened. The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?" The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible. The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad times" The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watching TV, he ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly. So the next day onwards, the father cut down the his raw material order and buns, took down the colorful signboard, removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic. He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs.Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his hotdog stand. And his sales started coming down rapidly, same is the profit. The father said to his son, "Son, you were right. We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."
Moral of The Story: Its all in your MIND!
Managers vs Engineers Humour
(1) A group of Managers on a training course are given the task of finding the height of a flagpole outside the training centre. There are several of them in the group so they all start leaping about trying to figure out how to get the tape measure up to the top of the pole. After about half an hour they decide to try fixing the tape to the string that raises the flag and getting it to the top that way. They've got the tape half way up and it's stuck on a metal ring when an engineer walks past and asks what they're trying to do. When he's told, he lifts the pole out of the ground, lays it down and measures it, tells the group how long it is, and walks on. "Isn't that just typical of an engineer?" says one of the managers, "We want the height, and he tells us the length!"
(2). A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted, 'Excuse me sir, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.' The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.' 'You must be an engineer,' said the lady balloonist. 'I am', replied the man. 'How did you know?'
'Well, answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me at all. If anything you've delayed my trip even more.' The man below responded, 'You must be a manager.' 'I am,' replied the lady balloonist, 'but, how did you know?' 'Well,' said the man, 'You don't know where you are, or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air within. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.'
(2). A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted, 'Excuse me sir, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.' The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.' 'You must be an engineer,' said the lady balloonist. 'I am', replied the man. 'How did you know?'
'Well, answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me at all. If anything you've delayed my trip even more.' The man below responded, 'You must be a manager.' 'I am,' replied the lady balloonist, 'but, how did you know?' 'Well,' said the man, 'You don't know where you are, or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air within. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.'
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Self Appraisal
A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone numbers).The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:
Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): "I already have someone to cut my lawn."
Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now."
Woman: I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.
Boy: (with more perseverance) : "Lady, I'll even sweepyour curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you willhave the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida."
Woman: No, thank you.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.Store Owner: "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
Boy: "No thanks,
Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.
Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at thejob I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"
This is what we call "Self Appraisal"--
Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now."
Woman: I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.
Boy: (with more perseverance) : "Lady, I'll even sweepyour curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you willhave the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida."
Woman: No, thank you.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.Store Owner: "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
Boy: "No thanks,
Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.
Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at thejob I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"
This is what we call "Self Appraisal"--
From Candles to Soap
In 1879, Procter and Gamble's best seller was candles. But the company was in trouble. Thomas Edison had invented the light bulb, and it looked as if candles would become obsolete. Their fears became reality when the market for candles plummeted since they were now sold only forspecial occasions.
The outlook appeared to be bleak for Procter and Gamble. However, at this time, it seemed that destiny played a dramatic part in pulling the struggling company from the clutches of bankruptcy.
A forgetful employee at a small factory in Cincinnati forgot to turn off his machine when he went to lunch. The result? A frothing mass of lather filled with air bubbles. He almost threw the stuff away but instead decided to make it into soap. The soap floated. Thus, Ivory soap was born and became the mainstay of the Procter and Gamble Company.
Why was soap that floats such a hot item at that time? In Cincinnati, during that period, some people bathed in the Ohio River. Floating soap would never sink and consequently never got lost. So, Ivory soap became a best seller in Ohio and eventually across the country also.
Like Procter and Gamble, never give up when things go wrong or when seemingly unsurmountable problems arise. Creativity put to work can change a problem and turn it into a gold mine.
Difference between Focusing On Problems & Focusing On Solutions
STORY 1:-When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (ink won't flow down to the writing surface). To solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12 million.They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater,in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range frombelow freezing to over 300 degrees C.And what did the Russians do...?? They used a pencil.
STORY 2:-One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the case of the empty soapbox, which happened in one of Japan's biggest cosmetics companies.The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soapbox that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assemblyline, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some reason, one soapbox went through the assembly line empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the problem.Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soapboxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt,they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent a whoopee amount to do so.But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company was posed with the same problem, he did not get into complications of X-rays, etc., but instead cameout with another solution.He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assemblyline. He switched the fan on, and as each soapbox passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.
Moral: Always look for simple solutions.Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problemsAlways Focus on solutions & not on problemsSo at the end of the day the thing that really mattersis HOW ONE LOOKS INTO THE PROBLEM
STORY 2:-One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the case of the empty soapbox, which happened in one of Japan's biggest cosmetics companies.The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soapbox that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assemblyline, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some reason, one soapbox went through the assembly line empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the problem.Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soapboxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt,they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent a whoopee amount to do so.But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company was posed with the same problem, he did not get into complications of X-rays, etc., but instead cameout with another solution.He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assemblyline. He switched the fan on, and as each soapbox passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.
Moral: Always look for simple solutions.Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problemsAlways Focus on solutions & not on problemsSo at the end of the day the thing that really mattersis HOW ONE LOOKS INTO THE PROBLEM
Cups
When all the students had a cup in hand, the lecturer said: "If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was drink, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups."
"Now, if Life is drink, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change." "Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the drinkin it."
So folks,dont let the cups drive you...enjoy the Drink instead
Body
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions." The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss.
Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.
Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.
Lion Repairman / Rabbit's Thesis
Management Story #1
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.
Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.
Scene: Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits that are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.
Moral: IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.
Management Lesson: IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES
Management Story #2
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?
Moral: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.
Management Lesson: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT.
Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more."
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"
The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"
Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.
Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV.
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"
The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"
Scene: Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits that are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.
Moral: IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.
Management Lesson: IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES
Management Story #2
Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"
Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd!"
Bear: "Well that's absurd!"
Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"
Scene: As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.Moral: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.
Management Lesson: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT.
Sales Rep - Clerk - Manager
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of
smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an Endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an Endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Encourage People To Succeed.......
A group of frogs were hopping contentedly through the woods, going about their froggy business, when two of them fell into a deep pit. All of the other frogs gathered around the pit to see what could be done to help their companions. When they saw how deep the pit was, the rest of the dismayed group agreed that it was hopeless and told the two frogs in the pit that they should prepare themselves for their fate, because they were as good as dead.
Unwilling to accept this terrible fate, the two frogs began to jump with all of their might. Some of the frogs shouted into the pit that it was hopeless, and that the two frogs wouldn't be in that situation if they had been more careful, more obedient to the froggy rules, and more responsible.
The other frogs continued sorrowfully shouting that they should save their energy and give up, since they were already as good as dead. The two frogs continued jumping as hard as they could, and after several hours of desperate effort were quite weary.
Finally, one of the frogs took heed to the calls of his fellows. Spent and disheartened, he quietly resolved himself to his fate, lay down at the bottom of the pit, and died as the others looked on in helpless grief. The other frog continued to jump with every ounce of energy he had, although his body was wracked with pain and he was completely exhausted.
His companions began a new, yelling for him to accept his fate, stop the pain and just die. The weary frog jumped harder and harder and - wonder of wonders! Finally leapt so high that he sprang from the pit. Amazed, the other frogs celebrated his miraculous freedom and then gathering around him asked, "Why did you continue jumping when we told you it was impossible?" Reading their lips, the astonished frog explained to them that he was deaf, and that when he saw their gestures and shouting, he thought they were cheering him on. What he had perceived as encouragement inspired him to try harder and to succeed against all odds.
Moral Of the story:
This simple Frog story contains a powerful lesson. Your encouraging or positive words can lift someone up and help him or her make it through the day. Your destructive or negative words can cause deep wounds; they may be the weapons that destroy someone's desire to continue trying - or even their life. Your destructive, careless word can diminish someone in the eyes of others, destroy their influence and have a lasting impact on the way others respond to them.
Farmers Daughter
the Proposal.So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter.He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl
would have to pick one pebble from the bag.
1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.
2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.
3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag. Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the money-lender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order To save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
What would you recommend to the Girl to do?
Well, here is what she did....
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked."
Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.
MORAL OF THE STORY:Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't ATTEMPT to think. So henceforth that we are struck up with a problem, let’s try to analyze the situation and try to attempt resolving it rather than just giving up….
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